Death of Dating: Murder by text and other 21st Century norms (Part 1)

I recently posted the above title as my Facebook status cause at the time I was frustrated (what's new) with the dating world (not my dating world, heaven forbid I actually date). I think dating has gone downhill and there are several factors that caused this: texting, social networks like Facebook and MySpace, 'hanging out', getting physical to early, etc. If I were to write about all these in one post, it'd be WAY too long and I'd probably lose your attention within minutes, so I'll just talk about texting for now.

I, amongst most of the civilized world, text. I love having text. I'd rather text than talk on the phone and that's only because I'm not a talker. I'm a quiet person who would rather listen, contemplate the topic, then spew out whatever none-sense I have to say. I only honestly talk when I know something to be true or have a strong opinion about the topic, and even then I'll rarely speak up. But get me behind a phone and whaala, I'm an amazing conversationalist. However, and I'm completely guilty of this, when you're first starting to get to know someone, trying to build a relationship, I think being around each other versus texting NON-STOP day in and day out is better means of communicating...even though the shy side of me say's otherwise.

Like my father said recently, "Texting has ruined dating. When a guy liked a girl back in the day, it was an effort to talk to her. Now it's so easy and it's screwed everything up." ...I COMPLETELY agree, but I do it all the time. It sends the wrong message. If (this is coming from a girl mind you. A girl who, like most every other girl, dives into things with emotions trailing shortly behind.) a guy is consistently texting you day in and day out to talk to you, see how your day's going, text you after you 'hang out' (if you even get that opportunity these days), wouldn't you agree that that is a sign that they're interested? Yeah...not so much. People like to feel wanted. I know I do for sure. But sometime's it's at the expense of someone else's emotions. ...they'll get over it right? Eventually cause lets be honest, you're not as amazing as you think you are. Regardless of how innocent having text may be, it's still time spent investing in someone else's interests, and people should be more aware of how attached parties get via text message 'relationships'.

Not only is it hard to tell if the other party is interested, texting is a terrible personality indicator. I, on a regular basis, make snide sarcastic remarks, yet I'm a complete worrier. I don't like people being mad at me or having the impression I'm a B word cause I like to be sarcastic. Texting is a slippery slope my friends. Anywho...I like to bicker, it's who I am...does that bode well via text? Usually...NO. If it does go well and the person can see that 'hey, she likes to banter and make jokes, I'll do the same after not doing it for a couple days. Just throw it out there and see what happens." No matter how many winks, smiles, haha's, LOLs you do, texts get misinterpreted and the other side gets confused. Simple.

"Yeah that's hot ;)". What the H? Are you saying what I said or did was hot and you're shy so you put a wink cause you're unsure how the person's going to take it cause the relationship only consists of texting? Or are you being sarcastic and put a wink in there so I know you're joking around. Ooooohhhh the wink! [sigh]

I don't know about you, but I can be pretty bold via text. I don't think half the things sent via satellite transmission would have been said or done if it was face to face. Good or bad, I think this is another detriment. I don't know how many time's I've gotten a text saying "let's do this" or read some stupid sexual-referenced comment just cause it's in the comfort of the texting world. Really dumb, and again, sends the impression you're interest and you like flirting with that person.

How many times have we had a text relationship with someone and then finally we score a date and the person's a complete dud. Was his roommate coaching him in what to say via text? Cause dang, he sucks as a conversationalist.

As a caveat, I don't think texting is ALL that bad. It's a good way to ween into things persay, kind of feel out the other person, get the word out about different things going on (see if they'll want to come and spend actual real time with you), but if the relationship plateaus and only consists of texting and texting alone (and no negative indicators have presented themselves...cause they're the one initiating the conversation ALL the time), and the parties haven't discussed (via text or otherwise) where the 'relationship' lies (cause there's always an imbalance of emotion/attraction), that's where there's an issue. Even if you're just being friendly, just be honest so that person can move on to the next amazing text relationship.

And if you're able to get past the texting and become partners in this crazy world of love, how can you be so sure your partner's not having emotionally attached texting relationships? Phones are such a private piece of technology these days; you could get your hand cut off for touching someone else's Blackberry or iPhone. Why is that? Are you hiding something? Oh the mistrust that has now become a part of every healthy or unhealthy relationship due to technology. I'll stop there...

Like always, relationships are circumstantial so if it works for one person and not the other, so be it. But overall I think texting is more a detriment than a positive aspect of the 21st Centurer.




...oh neat, I just got a text from a cute guy. ;) (Is she serious or just joking...cause I see the wink).