Monday, December 7, 2009

I love, love LOVE!

We loved with a love that was more than love.
Edgar Allan Poe

I love going home and being with my parents and older siblings. They are all the greatest examples of loving, respectful relationships. I can only wish that I will one day have as good of a relationship as they've shown me I can have.

I love that they kiss and say I love you all the time, and they don't care who sees. I love that they can poke fun at each other and not take offense, but know at the end of the day they are madly in love. I love that they have grown stronger through hardships they've had to endure. I love that they adore everything about the other, and I love that they find each other humorous and wonderful. I love that they have all selflessly started families. I love the support and understanding they each give each other. I love that they compromise, support, learn and grow from each other. I love that they truly love each other.

I love that my Dad always reaches over and grabs my Mom's hand. I love that they still laugh and have fun with each other after 39+ years. I love that my Mom/Dad (depending on who goes to bed first) puts toothpaste on the others toothbrush. I love the respect and gratitude they show each other. I love their ability to have raised such wonderful, successful individuals.

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.

Author Unknown

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


It fascinates me and has me contemplating as to what makes one person fall in love with someone and not another? Especially when I believe there's more than one person out there for each of us. How can you decide to dedicate and love just one person for the rest of your life? And how difficult it is to find that one person you love, and then to have them love you back. Do all the stars have to be aligned? ...nowadays I feel like that's the case.

...I know the answers to these contemplations, but it still makes me wonder.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Laws of Attraction

When talking with friends about what attracts you to the opposite sex, smile/eyes/personality or in my case, teeth and shoes, are some of the first elements you tend to hear of. Whatever the case may be, we all have those particular things that turn us on...or off. Let me just tell you about an experience I had a few weeks back.

I was, like most nights, watching sports. This night in particular I was watching Game 6 of the 2009 World Series starring the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies. It was a great time, the Yankees won. Fast interviews.

Example #1: Alex Rodriquez. I have an admiration for him; he's an amazing athlete (minus of course the little steroid incident), has a great body, nice light blue eyes and dark skin. Can't go wrong with that, right?! WRONG. Interviewer asks a question and Alex begins speaking; what...a...shock. After the first sentence, I was so completely turned off. His voice, ugh! Such a bummer.

Example #2: Andy Pettitte. Great pitcher. That's all I can really say, I never really cared for him. I guess he has a nice body, his face is alright, don't really remember his eye color, but I do remember he has dark hair and he's tall. So yeah, not attracted to him. WRONG, again. His I'm attracted ten fold. He's from Texas and has a rugged manly accent that would make any girl melt. I am now completely hooked.

So here I am dumbfounded as I listen to these baseball players talk, and my attraction of each and every player has changed just because I heard them speak. Why is that? Could it really change the whole way you think of a potential partner? Why, after all season, thinking A-Rod was good looking enough, that now I am repulsed? Even though I know this to be true, it's so bizarre to me. Can you look past the lack of voice attraction or is it too major of an attribute to compromise on? ...I don't know the answer to this one.

I watched a TV show once about the laws of attraction and what makes men attracted to women and women attracted to men, and voice was one of the key elements. I had never thought about that, and up until I watched that show, did it occur to me that yes, voice is crucial and does have a huge impact on whether you're attracted to someone or not. Men like the higher pitched feminine voice, while women, more times than not, prefer a deep manly voice. Makes sense. (I wonder who's more compromising in this sector? Will women overlook the higher-toned voice of a man, moreso than mens forgiveness for a female with a lower, deeper voice?)

...I just hope I don't have an unattractive octave. How do you really know?

As a little caveat. This is yet another reason text messaging is a bad idea. How bad would it be if you began this great text relationship (cause you got a number from a friend) and then go on your first date with out ever speaking and BAM, not an attractive voice. But you're stuck. Do you just cringe when he/she calls, and then suggest that perhaps they never ever call again and that the two of you should just be text buddies?

Friday, October 23, 2009

Need a bandaid for that infectuous relationship?

"Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds."
-Hugh Elliott

I really like this quote. I may be interpreting it wrong, but to me it's saying that yes you may love someone, but just because it's hard to end the situation, doesn't mean you should continue to be with the person.

I once heard that you should only date someone for around 3 months; if you don't see the relationship going anywhere by then, you end it. How often do you hear of and see people in long relationships with no progress and they're stuck?! I think it's happening more and more these days. They stay together for far too long, that when the realization that it's not going anywhere appears, it's extremely hard to cut the cord.

So often we get involved with someone, fall in 'like' and are comfortable with the situation so you end up staying together. This undoubtedly leads to having far too many strings attached that when the time comes, it's hard to end the relationship that you've known all along wouldn't work out. Everyone wants to be with someone, feel loved and appreciated...right? But don't be selfish, be conscientious of feelings and quit fiddle-farting with their time and their heart!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Death of Dating: Murder by text and other 21st Century Norms (Part 2)

"Her friend just tagged her in a picture from last weekend. I text her (clear throat at the ever-present text) to see what she was up to and she never got back to me..."

Well, well, what do we have here? It's Facebook ("FB") in all it's glory! I was introduced to FB about 4 years ago; had never heard of such network (was currently a MySpacer), couldn't become a member cause I was no longer in college and dismissed it from my mind. Until that day in history when our lives turned upside down. Dun, dun, dun; FB became public to ALL who wanted to join! WooHoo. What an adventure it has been seeing how many people you can locate and befriend; old co-workers or classmates, past acquaintances, ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, current friends and future flings (that's right I said it, future flings...more to come on that). Then the inevitable happened. Drama on the home front...everyone's experienced it. Delete friend. Phew, got past that bump in the road. As the days go on, you wonder why the crap you still have a profile, but 250 friends later, you're still going strong.

Why do we facebook? I mean, does it really cause any harm? Flip the question and ask yourself, does it bring about any good? Have you saved lives by being on FB? (I guess so if you joined this group or that fanpage, perhaps...but more than likely not.) We lived years upon years without the play-by-play of our friends lives, would it be so bad to go back to those days when things like, asking what they did last weekend, was left for vocal...who am I kidding (don't want to go to extremes)...text conversation? I am on FB all day. Guilty. It's open in a tab on Mozilla, I'm addicted...not to the point that I get text alerts, but I am a religious user. Good or bad? I guess it depends on how you use it.

For the most part, I think it facilitates friendliness. I find it's great for keeping in touch with very little effort, with friends I grew up with that I don't see on a regular basis, and overall, FB is fun. However there are a few drawbacks...drawbacks relating to dating. Again, I could be wrong. I've never professed to be all knowing, but from the swarms of people I talk to and have heard from, FB can be some aspects.

Judgment Day
How many times have you been told "I have someone I want to hook you up with" and you respond with, "Are they on FB? I'll look them up and let you know". Okay...whatever happened to liking someone for their personality? Right off the bat you're judging the person by their looks (I know people ask for pictures and it's not just a FB thing). People post funky pictures as their profile picture all the time and if they were judged by that?! Sucks to be them. Yeah, not a very good indicator folks. Also, I would even deduce to say that people look at the number of friends they have and judge them accordingly. Either they have too few, and well obviously they're a complete social outcast, or they have too many and then you just become some sort of friendship whore that adds people just cause they like having "friends", and that definitely says something about you, right?! They could go to the extreme and sadly take a gander at that persons friends. You know, you associate with those you're similar to. If you have an over-abundance of ugly/nerdy friends...well, count yourself out for that date if they don't like ugly/nerdy people. None of which are at all true indicators of how you really are, but again, we've past judgments before even accepting a date. Unfortunate for you, if for that one day you had the worst picture posted as a joke with your other FB friendlies or your numbers were too high/too low or you have one too many ugly just outed yourself (unbeknownst to you) of a date and perhaps a life of happiness. You're on show, put your best foot forward people!

Getting to know you
So you meet this person, hit it off, get their number and begin communicating. Super!!!! ...then the inevitable happens. "Sooo, are you on FB?" "Uh, yeah" "Cool, I'm going to add you right now (via Smartphone of course...while they're having text with you...everything's SO instantaneous). You add them cause it's fun, and you want to know more about them, and then they can see how cool you are when your other friends post witty banter about what happened at the party or how amazing I am with my family. Blah blah blah. For whatever reason, you add them. Milk was a bad choice; no bueno. What's the point of going on a date now? They know everything about you. (Later you get a text that night. "So, you like to dip cheese crackers in chocolate milk? But only in the mornings, right?" "What the? How do they know that? ...ahh FB.") Not saying everyone divulges everything about themselves in their profile, but again, allowing them access into your world via FB really puts yourself out there regardless of whether you had intentions of doing so or not. I guess if you do get to go on a date, they would have been able to 'study up' and know all the quirky things to talk to you about...but why not let nature run it's course and have that information become apparent while out with one another versus in the realms of the web!? Perhaps maybe we should, when asked, say we do have a FB profile, but that they'll have to earn the privilege (just one date or two is all) of entering into the circle of trust we call FB? ...just a thought?!

Jealous or Game
Say you begin to hang out with this person and you accepted their friend request on FB. Things are just beginning, you think it's going well, communicate at least once a day, twice a day, whatever you're 'things are going well' meter portrays as going well. Then it happens. The opposite sex starts making flirt comments about the person you're interested in, or uploads pictures of the party they were both attending the night before showing your interested person all up against the boy/girl. [Jealousy. Frustration. Rage. You begin to ponder what this is all about.'s just a tagged picture.] Mind you, the individual that is writing on your lovers wall is just a good friend that they've been friends with for quite some time, no interest whatsoever, but you don't know that cause you've just begun to hang out with this person and they haven't felt the need to tell you about said BFF. Jealous for no reason...right?! Or another scenario. You text "lover" and don't get a response, but then happen to...what do they call it, FB stalk, your lover and notice they just responded to someones wall via 'FB on Blackberry' and didn't feel the need to get back to your text you sent a few hours ago. [sigh. I guess I know how lover feels about me. (all from not texting in a timely manner, yet had the time to FB. Obviously lover went out their way to disregard your text.)] AND to make it worse, it's the boy/girl that's in all the pictures. I guess one could be jealous or one could be intrigued and pursue said lover even more? Regardless, if we didn't have FB to interfere with dating, there'd be no wondering or frustrations...nature would just play it's course on that one...perhaps further down the road and after you were able to make your mind up about the person from conversations and dates versus FB shinanigans.

Overall, I do believe Facebook has changed the way things work these days. I don't think it's all negative. It's a good way to communicate and flirt in a different means, maybe show the person the real you uncut; a true indicator of how a person really is outside of the initial, polite behaviors of when you first meet someone. You never know what embarrassing thing your friend's going to post about you on FB or what crazy quiz you accidentally broadcast to your FB nation. Regardless, it's definitely made dating unique in the 21st century, but is unique a bad thing? I guess when it doesn't work out like you want it to, it is.

...I think I may create a new profile with all the right answers, with the hottest picture I've ever taken, and with the perfect mix and amount of friends, and send future lovers to that profile versus the real one. Don't want them to know I own five cats and love unicorns just yet...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Iiiiiii'mmm a DORK!

About 3 years ago I got my very first cell phone plan on my own which meant I could get whatever phone I wanted. Me being the coolest cat around wanted the coolest phone around which proclaimed itself as a Blackberry Pearl. The sales guy new the exact word to use to describe said phone...cute. It was indeed a cute Blackberry. Before the Pearls came out, Blackberry's were bricks and not very fashionable! ;) Needless to say that day in early December three years ago began my obsession for the latest and greatest phone. Since that time I gave my brother (oh how I miss it dearly) the Pearl, bought a Blackberry Curve (one of the best phones EVER...a lot of great memories with that thing) and have since ridded myself of that (I apparently attach myself to inadament objects). Now I have, dun dun dun, an iPhone!

Interestingly enough I was a hater of iPhones for quite some time and didn't actually get one until just recently (this past December). I went through a major Blackberry withdraw and contemplated my purchase for quite some time. Finally, and I don't remember how or when it happened, I began to appreciate the iPhone and all it's goodness (or potential for goodness). There were a few things I felt were crucial to the phone that were not there and that I missed in my Blackberry. The day did come early this summer in the form of a nice little operating system upgrade, which allowed all iPhone users the ability to cut and paste and other random functions that made the iPhone that much better. Still it lacked the ability to send and receive picture messages and I was not a happy camper. They said 'late summer', whatever that means.

A friend finally gave me the news I've been waiting for: Sept. 25th AT&T will give all iPhone users the ability to send/receive multimedia messages. [ can hear the angels singing]. Why after all the ranting and raving about my cell phone history would I ever think I'm a dork? Well, tomorrow (which is really today as I type) is Sept. 25th, the blessed day for all iPhone users. What makes me a bigger dork is that I already checked to see if an update was available for download and it's only an hour into the 25th.

Yep, that solidifies it; I'm a dork. (And ps, it was NOT available, and better be by the time I get home from work tomorrow, otherwise I will be TO'd).

So in the 21st century we rant and rave about our newest gadgets and technology with words like 'operating system' or 'MMS'. What did they say back-in-the-day about their new gadgets? "Look at this knife. The handle's made from ivory of a bull elk I killed after 89 hours of hunting and struggling him to the ground with my bare hands." (said in an Austrian/Irish/Scottish accent) I guess I could say my AT&T bill is like...a bull elk...I have to kill each month with my...bare...fingers hitting the keyboard to pay the bill?! Something like that.

Death of Dating: Murder by text and other 21st Century norms (Part 1)

I recently posted the above title as my Facebook status cause at the time I was frustrated (what's new) with the dating world (not my dating world, heaven forbid I actually date). I think dating has gone downhill and there are several factors that caused this: texting, social networks like Facebook and MySpace, 'hanging out', getting physical to early, etc. If I were to write about all these in one post, it'd be WAY too long and I'd probably lose your attention within minutes, so I'll just talk about texting for now.

I, amongst most of the civilized world, text. I love having text. I'd rather text than talk on the phone and that's only because I'm not a talker. I'm a quiet person who would rather listen, contemplate the topic, then spew out whatever none-sense I have to say. I only honestly talk when I know something to be true or have a strong opinion about the topic, and even then I'll rarely speak up. But get me behind a phone and whaala, I'm an amazing conversationalist. However, and I'm completely guilty of this, when you're first starting to get to know someone, trying to build a relationship, I think being around each other versus texting NON-STOP day in and day out is better means of communicating...even though the shy side of me say's otherwise.

Like my father said recently, "Texting has ruined dating. When a guy liked a girl back in the day, it was an effort to talk to her. Now it's so easy and it's screwed everything up." ...I COMPLETELY agree, but I do it all the time. It sends the wrong message. If (this is coming from a girl mind you. A girl who, like most every other girl, dives into things with emotions trailing shortly behind.) a guy is consistently texting you day in and day out to talk to you, see how your day's going, text you after you 'hang out' (if you even get that opportunity these days), wouldn't you agree that that is a sign that they're interested? Yeah...not so much. People like to feel wanted. I know I do for sure. But sometime's it's at the expense of someone else's emotions. ...they'll get over it right? Eventually cause lets be honest, you're not as amazing as you think you are. Regardless of how innocent having text may be, it's still time spent investing in someone else's interests, and people should be more aware of how attached parties get via text message 'relationships'.

Not only is it hard to tell if the other party is interested, texting is a terrible personality indicator. I, on a regular basis, make snide sarcastic remarks, yet I'm a complete worrier. I don't like people being mad at me or having the impression I'm a B word cause I like to be sarcastic. Texting is a slippery slope my friends. Anywho...I like to bicker, it's who I am...does that bode well via text? Usually...NO. If it does go well and the person can see that 'hey, she likes to banter and make jokes, I'll do the same after not doing it for a couple days. Just throw it out there and see what happens." No matter how many winks, smiles, haha's, LOLs you do, texts get misinterpreted and the other side gets confused. Simple.

"Yeah that's hot ;)". What the H? Are you saying what I said or did was hot and you're shy so you put a wink cause you're unsure how the person's going to take it cause the relationship only consists of texting? Or are you being sarcastic and put a wink in there so I know you're joking around. Ooooohhhh the wink! [sigh]

I don't know about you, but I can be pretty bold via text. I don't think half the things sent via satellite transmission would have been said or done if it was face to face. Good or bad, I think this is another detriment. I don't know how many time's I've gotten a text saying "let's do this" or read some stupid sexual-referenced comment just cause it's in the comfort of the texting world. Really dumb, and again, sends the impression you're interest and you like flirting with that person.

How many times have we had a text relationship with someone and then finally we score a date and the person's a complete dud. Was his roommate coaching him in what to say via text? Cause dang, he sucks as a conversationalist.

As a caveat, I don't think texting is ALL that bad. It's a good way to ween into things persay, kind of feel out the other person, get the word out about different things going on (see if they'll want to come and spend actual real time with you), but if the relationship plateaus and only consists of texting and texting alone (and no negative indicators have presented themselves...cause they're the one initiating the conversation ALL the time), and the parties haven't discussed (via text or otherwise) where the 'relationship' lies (cause there's always an imbalance of emotion/attraction), that's where there's an issue. Even if you're just being friendly, just be honest so that person can move on to the next amazing text relationship.

And if you're able to get past the texting and become partners in this crazy world of love, how can you be so sure your partner's not having emotionally attached texting relationships? Phones are such a private piece of technology these days; you could get your hand cut off for touching someone else's Blackberry or iPhone. Why is that? Are you hiding something? Oh the mistrust that has now become a part of every healthy or unhealthy relationship due to technology. I'll stop there...

Like always, relationships are circumstantial so if it works for one person and not the other, so be it. But overall I think texting is more a detriment than a positive aspect of the 21st Centurer.

...oh neat, I just got a text from a cute guy. ;) (Is she serious or just joking...cause I see the wink).